So, we had Podcast 17’s third anniversary this week, as I’m sure all of you faithful listeners are well aware. I was on the podcast commemorating the event (until I had to duck out for undisclosed reasons), and it was all a lot of fun! It was a great moment of transition, and it just had a great “end of a good story” vibe.
The only thing missing, though, was an Animal House style montage at the end that says where all of those lovable and goofy characters are now, so I thought that I would step in and cover the slack:
William McMahon would go on to host a gaming podcast at Twit.tv for over forty minutes before INTERPOL Agents finally caught up with him and raided his home. He was able to avoid arrest and is still at large today. Any sightings of William should be reported to the local authorities or to the clergy.
Phillip Marlowe would continue running PlanetPhillip.com, yet would go on to be one of the major producers of the hard-hitting documentary Who Killed the Single Player FPS? He also claimed to have spotted William once in Cadiz, but unfortunately his shot only grazed the target.
Dave Traeger went on to be one of the most successful Kangaroo OB/GYN’s in all of the Australias. His life of sacrifice and dedication lead to the establishment of the largest animal feminine health clinics in the world. Too bad that Desura thing never really took off for him, though.
Glenn Lawrence would continue to be an essential source of commentary in the Half-Life community until he sustained great injuries at the Occupy VALVe Riots in 2025. He now lives in a small cottage in Sussex where he keeps bees and is still skeptical of Episode Three’s release.
Emanuel suffered great injury in a boating accident which robbed him of his ability to write further editorials. To compensate for this handicap, he began a sub-podcast whose listenership would go on to rival that of Podcast17 itself.
Patrick, upon his deathbed, made his last wish to be that the long-lost episode of Machinima Corner finally be released to an expectant public. It became a day of international tragedy when it was obvious that Patrick had forgotten to record the interviewee’s responses.
Jon, after the lackluster sales of his only book Lemons Don’t Go There! And Other Guidelines for Life, claimed that his body housed the soul of Ernest Hemingway. He went on a “sabbatical” which involved punching Mediterranean swordfish.
In 2015, Arigato Robotics Laboratories in Britain unveiled a project they had worked on for years in secret, the “N.I.C.” (the Nearly Independent Computer), which was the first man made machine known to pass the Turing Test. There he was taught a song. Would you like to hear it?
THE END
Absolutely hilarious… loved it.
Fantastic.
As always we forget about Nic.
So here is my version.
After the disbanding of the P17 Team, Nic continued his “in plain sight” hiding technique and actually went on a tour to meet the members of the team, first helping William escape as a getaway driver, then as a cameraman on Phillip’s movie. After that he got passage aboard a container ship and briefly worked as a nurse in Dave’s clinics, passing him the scalpel many times, without being recognised.
This continued for many years, until finally he was the priest at Patrick’s beside. Nic’s unfailing desire to help other people, without honour to himself, was finally recognised and a statue (which is just an abstract piece) was erected in London’s Hyde Park, bearing the inscription “For Nic, without whom the great men of Podcast17 would be naught but wannabes”.
His final resting place is unknown.
I put him in there! But your version was touching indeed. :)
Very funny Jon! Everything about Patrick’s one is certain to come true. In fact I’m sure his tombstone will even say ‘Machinima Corner – coming soon’ when he’s worm food.
Funny editorial indeed. It had some twists though, and I guess we can only speculate why (ow why Tyk-Tok believes that) “Desura thing never really took off” for Dave, or why Emanuel will begin “a sub-podcast whose listenership would go on to rival that of Podcast17 itself”.
Another interesting one is the “fact” that Episode 3 won’t be released by 2025.
Unless he replies. Which I think he won’t.
Neither do I.